| The Truth About Why A Man "Commits" Or Withdraws |
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| Written by Christian Carter | |
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Our topic this week is one that I've found women to most often UNDERESTIMATE while dating or being in a relationship...
Our topic this week is one that I've found women to most often UNDERESTIMATE while dating or being in a relationship. And it has EVERYTHING to do with why a man will choose to STAY or WITHDRAW in a relationship.
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Unfortunately, some women try all the things they can think of that would work FOR THEM, and try and make a man feel a certain way about them inside. Think back to the "convincing behaviors" I listed earlier... This is about as likely to work as trying to "hypnotize" a man and programming his mind to fall in love with you. Well... maybe I shouldn't have given you that idea... lol I can see it now - there will be hundreds of women out there swinging time pieces in front of their emotionally unavailable men trying to put them into a "suggestive state". Ok, enough kidding around... What I'm trying to say is that one day it hit me like a ton of bricks that ATTRACTION IS THE KEY TO EVERYTHING BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN. If you don't know what it is or how to create it, you'll wander around trying different strategies (most of them based on what you think would work for YOU) and probably never land on something that works consistently. Once I realized this "truth", all kinds of things that didn't make sense before INSTANTLY made sense to me. All of a sudden I realized why women dated egotistical selfish jerks... ATTRACTION. All of a sudden I realized why men dated neurotic and "bitchy" women... ATTRACTION. And I also saw the FLIP SIDE! I realized why men pass up women who are honest, stable, attractive, and wonderful. And instead, went for women who had much, much less to offer... ALL because of ATTRACTION. Think of ATTRACTION like a drug (which it really is). If a man is under the influence of it, then he's gone. He'll do anything to get more. If he's NOT under the influence, then YOU'RE gone. Nothing you do will matter if he doesn't feel it. If you doubt what I'm saying, ask the next 10 SUPER HOT men you see what they think of this. Read this newsletter to them, and watch their reactions. You'll see. OK, now that you've heard a little bit more of my personal perspective, I'd like you to look back into your life and think about all those situations with men that made no sense at all... Think about the men that you treated wonderfully that passed you up and went on to the "bitchy" woman... and think about all the male "friends" you've had... the ones who told you they wanted a "nice girl"... but kept dating the same kind of neurotic "bad girl" who didn't have her life together AT ALL. Is it all making sense now? THEY DIDN'T FEEL ATTRACTION FOR YOU! YOU WERE BEING THE "SUPER-FRIEND", AND YOU HAD NO IDEA THAT IT WAS HAVING THE EXACT OPPOSITE EFFECT OF WHAT YOU WANTED! AND WORSE YET, THERE WASN'T A DAMN THING YOU COULD DO ABOUT IT! It's harsh to think about, but it's true. (By the way, if you don't do something to learn how to make men feel ATTRACTION, and not just physical attraction which won't last, then most likely, this is going to keep happening to you for the rest of your life.) I have to point out one more thing. As I mentioned earlier, I think a lot of women confuse the idea of being "attractive" with the emotion called ATTRACTION. You can make a man feel an INCREDIBLE ATTRACTION, even though you're not what most people would think of as "attractive". But, of course, you have to know HOW... The point is, that if you're not perfectly thin, "done-up" and "flawless" (and... who is!?), you can LEARN how to make men feel this wonderful emotion called ATTRACTION. It's a skill. It's taken me YEARS to be able to even talk about this stuff in simple terms like this to make sense, and it's taken me the same time to figure out how a REAL woman, without giving herself away and wasting way too much of her time and energy, can make a man who hasn't seemed "ready" or "emotionally available", feel ATTRACTION in a way that will lead to a deep and lasting connection. How, you ask, can this happen? Well, you've read about avoiding the common and destructive behavior of trying to CONVINCE a man to feel any of these things "logically". That's a part of it. That's a small part of what NOT to do. But there are several other pieces of the puzzle, from voice tone and body language, to secrets of powerful and "opening" communication, to specific ways to respond and "challenge" a man to get him physically and emotionally engaged, and everything in between. It's a system, and it all works together. There are two KEY aspects of learning how to be successful with men, dating and relationships: 1) The "Inner Stuff" 2) The "Outer Stuff" The "Inner Stuff" is all about learning how to THINK and how to manage your thoughts, intentions, emotions and energy. It's also about understanding how and why attractive men feel that amazing emotion called ATTRACTION for some women, and not others. The "Outer Stuff" is all of the how-to's: what to say, when, how and why. Which is more important? Well, they're BOTH important. But what I notice is that most women just want this whole "problem" of finding a great man and arriving in a close, secure, loving, lasting relationship, to go away. They want to "arrive" into an unflinching love where each person truly understands the other on a deep, deep level. But the strange part is that they want to learn the "Outer Stuff" first because they believe that it's just a matter of saying the right things so that there's love and understanding. In other words, they want the female versions of "pick-up" lines. Except, the end goal isn't sex - like it often is for men with pick-up lines. It's often wanting more of a deep, loving, lasting commitment built over-night. Which leads us to the "Inner Stuff". The REASON that the "Inner Stuff" is so important, is that attractive men don't judge you on what you can say about true love and how much you really want it in your life. And just because a man talks to you, gets your phone number or email address, or takes you out on a date DOES NOT mean that he FEELS anything deep inside. And here's where I draw an IMPORTANT distinction for you. There are 2 types of ATTRACTION a man can feel. And for a man to become "serious" about a woman, he HAS to feel BOTH. Men don't DECIDE to feel ATTRACTION for a woman. ATTRACTION is something that happens on its own, for its own reasons. Sure, it's relatively easy, in the grand scheme of things, for a man to feel "PHYSICAL ATTRACTION". But having a man feel what I call "INTELLECTUAL ATTRACTION", is a whole different story. Remember when I mentioned earlier that there's a reason why a man will commit himself emotionally to one woman, and not another? This "other" kind of attraction is a BIG part of what's going on here. The way to cause a man to feel ATTRACTION for you is to UNDERSTAND how and why it works, and then communicate in a way that makes it happen. In a way that actually triggers the FEELING of ATTRACTION inside of a man on a deep emotional level. In my ebook, I spend several full sections teaching the "Inner Stuff"... all those things that help you get the INSIDE together, so you will naturally pull the OUTSIDE (behavior and direct communication) together. Of course, I also pack in tons of specifics about the "Outer Stuff" that men respond best to and that REALLY WORKS. This stuff is CRITICAL to the quality of your future love life and relationships. I wouldn't have taken all the time, effort, and energy to put this together unless I thought it was important. If you want to overcome your challenges and really take your love life to the next level, then you owe it to yourself to check this out. Go here now:
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I'll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in life and love. Your Friend,
Christian Carter
At EliteMate.com, choose from millions of men and women, from the comfort of your home for pennies a day!
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