Hey Guys--

I got a great question from a subscriber today, a man with decent
attraction skills who's not getting the results he wants.  I have a
very surprising answer for him, one that may apply to you too.

Read his question, and my answer below.

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Hey John,

First off, I want to thank you for all the information you've put
together. It's all pertinent today as it was 20 years ago, and as a
(2 years ago) recently separated guy after 14 years, it got me back
into the dating scene with a lot less apprehension.

Now, I've never been a "bad boy" attitude guy - publicly. With a
lot of guys that I know who are, it usually borders (in my mind) on
outright disrespect, and my dad taught me to be respectful. By the
way, he was 49 when I was born in 1959, so he grew up in an era of
honesty and respectfulness. So, what's my problem? I don't know!
I'm, mostly, congruent in all I say and do.

Yea, I over-promise once in a while, but still strive to pull it
out anyway. But that doesn't seem to matter to most women I meet,
or at least it doesn't increase the odds of keeping them. And the
ones that do want to stick around, I want nothing to do with as
they don't pass my "qualifications".

Add to that the fact that my work is not public so I don't have a
"work" pool to fish from, and my close friends are extreme left
field, so to speak, and their best advice is "f '  them" .  What I
haven't said yet is that, other than my kids (ages 8 to 12) and an
ex, I have NO family to talk to and so I have no one to bounce
ideas, thoughts and frustrations off.

Anyway, if you have a thought or two, and the time to reply, I'd
appreciate it.

Rob G.

JA:  Thanks for the email, Rob.  I think your issue may be an issue
of "place," not necessarily skills, although you should always keep
in mind that your skills will get better over time as you use them
(the operative words being time and use).

Let me use a business example.  Let's say you're a great marketer,
and a great salesman but you're in a business that offers small
transaction items to a market with relatively small buying power--a
good example is a UPS store (formerly mailboxes, etc.).  It doesn't
matter how good you are, your income will always be limited by that
type of business.

However, if you take your skill set and move it to a business with
very high transaction items, and customers who love to buy over and
over again, your income will be substantially higher, and you'll
work a lot less.

The same applies in attraction.  If you have a decent skill set,
but minimal results, you are in the wrong "place."  You need to
determine where your type of women congregate, then maximize your
time in those places in addition to using automatic attraction
systems like internet dating--match.com, eharmony.com,
plentyoffish.com, etc.

Yes, you'll have to wade through a large number of unqualified
women, but you'll be surprised at how many you meet who are good.
In the end, you only need one, but you have to put yourself in the
right place to do so.

"A" skills in a "D" environment always yield "D" results--C skills
in an A environment often yield B results.  Never overlook the
importance of place.

On with the fun,

-John Alanis
"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS  Be sure to check out my witty saying of the day (it comes with
a picture of a hot woman, and you've got to see today's), one line
of wisdom, sarcasm and entertainment on my new blog at
http://www.elitematelove.com
It's so cool you'll want to pass it around and leave your own witty
saying--see if you can top mine!

PPS Questions?  Comments?  Send them to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

Oh, and hey, forward this email to your friends, too--don't leave
them out of the fun!

User: creatyoureality, Wayne, PA
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