Keeping the woman attracted
Hey Guys--
I received an excellent email from a man regarding a recent attraction issue. He was successful with women previously, then changed his environment and is successful no more.
What's the issue? Read his question, and my answer below...
*****Advertisement***** Do you HATE rejection by women? Imagine a life of no heartbreak or misery, only fun and joy with the women YOU choose to have in your life on your terms. For a whole new approach to dating, women, and relationships, go to http://clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Cq0nZ&m=1h4vAFuSaOWNvn&b=qhhccy6HmS8kgB0znGLZcQ to discover how to lead a lifetime of power, success, and choice with women **********************
Dear John,
I have started class recently at a big university campus. I have been trying to "get back in the game" if you will, but I feel like something is holding me back. Over a year ago I had almost no trouble talking to women and getting a good number of them interested in me, and since I am at a big university, there's bound to be lots of attractive women. I have tried talking to several of these women, but most of them had been pretty aloof and not really paying attention when I introduce myself. Sometimes they're downright rude. And when I ask them out, they don't seem to take my offer, or if they do they'll stand me up.
I want to be able to come across as an attractive guy and if I approach any woman they would respond back. In every one of my classes there is at least one girl I'm attracted to, and there is one I particularly like in one of my theatre classes. I haven't talked to her yet, but I want to make a good first impression and make her feel attracted to me. Like I said, I barely had a problem talking to women, but something has changed. I am trying to come across as a confident guy with a playful and flirtatious side, and always flashing them that naughty boy smile, but I don't think it's working. It seems before I even talk to a girl nowadays, I get more nervous than I used to, and when I smile and wave at them and try to start up a conversation they will look at me weird and barely respond. And if they do, it's always in a "...Can I help you with something?" kind of attitude.
I understand you are not able to observe how I am carrying myself, since I am not doing it in front of you. But I'm trying to instill a confident attitude in myself, a knowledge that I can create attraction with any woman. I'm trying to show that, but nothing seems to be working.
Daniel
JA: Daniel, thanks for the email--this is something a lot of guys struggle with when faced with a change in environment. The first and best thing you can do is to just go back to what you know worked for you in the past. If you "try" something new with the attitude of trying, it can be a big turn off to women. So, to start with go back to what worked.
Also, another thing to do is to keep a journal of all your experiences with women, writing down what you did, and what went right or wrong. A pain in the ass? Yes. An amazing tool for identifying recurring patterns of attraction killers? Absolutely.
Oftentimes when you're adjusting to a change in environment (and so are they) it can add in an element of discomfort that kills attraction--but as you get more and more comfortable, that initially fades.
So, first off, go back to what you know worked, then when you are 100% comfortable in your new environment, start testing other things. Eventually you'll get it right, but it is a process and takes time.
On with the fun,
-John Alanis "The King of Let 'em Come to You"
PS Be sure to check out my witty saying of the day (it comes with a picture of a hot woman, and you've got to see today's), one line of wisdom, sarcasm and entertainment on my new blog at http://clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Cq0nZ&m=1h4vAFuSaOWNvn&b=2x_.78TAoe1yud34d2NsUw It's so cool you'll want to pass it around and leave your own witty saying--see if you can top mine!
PPS Questions? Comments? Send them to
This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
Oh, and hey, forward this email to your friends, too--don't leave them out of the fun!
Dear EliteMate Associates,
First of all, I would like to sincerely thank Elitemate for existing and most of all every time I go to the site you cut my loneliness in half. It's like you're saying "It's o.k., we know what you're going thru and we're here to help"! The upgrading of your site is magnificent - the colors, contrast and background are so eye-catching. It's the best site that I have seen up till now.
Keep-up the good work and thank you for bringing people together from around the world!
Daphenie ARUBA
|