And then it would just get worse.

We'd hit, we'd yell, they'd hit, they'd yell,
and very soon we'd be at War with each other.

Even if we make up later, we'll always remember
that awful War, and it will change forever how we
feel about each other.

If we're lucky, and the other person is more
mature and finds another way to solve the
situation - by talking, diplomatically perhaps,
with words, or engaging us in a martial arts way
and disarming us without harming us, or just
being self-protective by running away or calling
for help - we may not be at War, but we will
certainly still have changed the relationship
forever.

Anger expressed as "Drama" and verbal attacks,
no matter how righteously angry we believe we are
(and we're ALL angry inside about SOMETHING) can
feel, to a man, like a betrayal might feel to US.

It might be something a man is not willing to
"get over."

So for "No Angel," you may have truly changed
the way you process and express your anger, but
your man may not be wi lling to forgive and forget.

This is not the end of the world, even if it
feels like it.

Really - it's a new beginning.

Because you may be forgetting, right now, by
taking so much of the "blame" on yourself, that
your man was contributing big-time to creating so
much anger for you.

And, if you really have learned how to manage
your anger and speak about it in a better, more
connected way, you may find yourself meeting a
MUCH better man for you!

I've seen this happen over and over again.

So, please, No Angel, don't get stuck on this
one man.

Take your changes and your new self and meet
and date new men who have never even met that old,
angry, argumentative, attacking, fighting, WARRING
self, and begin a new love of peace and
contentment, where disagreements are solved
without pain.

"Lonely" is doing something different from No
Angel - stuffing her anger down and then
exploding.

I remember doing exactly the same thing -
trying to control my feelings, stuffing them down,
but I took it even further.

I never really exploded.

I stuffed my anger so deep inside of me even I
couldn't find it.

The weird thing about doing that, though, is
that we don't get rid of the anger.

We don't make it smaller, it doesn't fade with
time.

Nope.

Instead, it grows inside us, like a monster.
It gets bigger and bigger, and its voice gets
louder and louder inside our heads and bodies.