Keeping the woman attracted

Hey Guys--

I received an excellent email from a man regarding a recent
attraction issue.  He was successful with women previously, then
changed his environment and is successful no more.

What's the issue?  Read his question, and my answer below...

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Dear John,

I have started class recently at a big university campus.  I have
been trying to "get back in the game" if you will, but I feel like
something is holding me back.  Over a year ago I had almost no
trouble talking to women and getting a good number of them
interested in me, and since I am at a big university, there's bound
to be lots of attractive women.  I have tried talking to several of
these women, but most of them had been pretty aloof and not really
paying attention when I introduce myself.  Sometimes they're
downright rude.  And when I ask them out, they don't seem to take
my offer, or if they do they'll stand me up.

I want to be able to come across as an attractive guy and if I
approach any woman they would respond back.  In every one of my
classes there is at least one girl I'm attracted to, and there is
one I particularly like in one of my theatre classes.  I haven't
talked to her yet, but I want to make a good first impression and
make her feel attracted to me.  Like I said, I barely had a problem
talking to women, but something has changed.
I am trying to come across as a confident guy with a playful and
flirtatious side, and always flashing them that naughty boy smile,
but I don't think it's working.  It seems before I even talk to a
girl nowadays, I get more nervous than I used to, and when I smile
and wave at them and try to start up a conversation they will look
at me weird and barely respond.  And if they do, it's always in a
"...Can I help you with something?" kind of attitude.

I understand you are not able to observe how I am carrying myself,
since I am not doing it in front of you.  But I'm trying to instill
a confident attitude in myself, a knowledge that I can create
attraction with any woman.  I'm trying to show that, but nothing
seems to be working.

Daniel

JA:  Daniel, thanks for the email--this is something a lot of guys
struggle with when faced with a change in environment.  The first
and best thing you can do is to just go back to what you know
worked for you in the past.  If you "try" something new with the
attitude of trying, it can be a big turn off to women.  So, to
start with go back to what worked.

Also, another thing to do is to keep a journal of all your
experiences with women, writing down what you did, and what went
right or wrong.  A pain in the ass?  Yes.  An amazing tool for
identifying recurring patterns of attraction killers?   Absolutely.

Oftentimes when you're adjusting to a change in environment (and so
are they) it can add in an element of discomfort that kills
attraction--but as you get more and more comfortable, that initially
fades.

So, first off, go back to what you know worked, then when you are
100% comfortable in your new environment, start testing other
things.  Eventually you'll get it right, but it is a process and
takes time.

On with the fun,

-John Alanis
"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS  Be sure to check out my witty saying of the day (it comes with
a picture of a hot woman, and you've got to see today's), one line
of wisdom, sarcasm and entertainment on my new blog at
http://clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Cq0nZ&m=1h4vAFuSaOWNvn&b=2x_.78TAoe1yud34d2NsUw
It's so cool you'll want to pass it around and leave your own witty
saying--see if you can top mine!

PPS Questions?  Comments?  Send them to  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

Oh, and hey, forward this email to your friends, too--don't leave
them out of the fun!

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