Believe that you can be more attractive than other guys.

Hey Guys--

I received an email from a man today, quite confident the skill of
attraction is hard wired, not something he could learn.

I take issue with this, but it does bring up an important point
about limiting beliefs.  Read his question, and my response below...

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Clearly, almost all of what you discuss is pinned to the male
having and expressing self confidence. No question that is the #1
attraction for women.

But how does a guy go about getting self confidence if he's never
had it? I realize to SOME extent it's a learned behavior, but SOME
of it is hard-wired at birth...

EG: I could practice my ASS OFF for 20 years every day 8 hours on
the Basketball Court, but without the hard-wired skill set, I will
NEVER be an NBA player.

My point is I can probably be somewhat better with practice, but I
am not hard-wired for that level of Self Confidence that leads to
success with women.

-Paul

JA Thanks for the email, Paul.  While self confidence certainly is
important in attracting women, it's not the only thing.  There are
many men who have plenty of self confidence, yet screw up every
interaction with every woman they meet because they have not spent
the time to study the skill of attraction.

That being said, learning how to attract women is nowhere near as
difficult as learning to be an NBA player and all men ARE
hard-wired with the skill.  Just look around you--there are tens of
millions of married couples, and tens of millions of singles who
date regularly.  This is not a pro-level skill--in fact, it is more
akin to driving a car than anything else.

What prevents men from learning the skill is usually a belief
issue, i.e. they don't believe they're attractive to women, don't
believe attraction is a skill, or don't believe they can learn it.
Some get these beliefs handled, some don't--the ones who do are
shocked at the results they get when they change their beliefs, the
ones who don't continue to do the same old things and get the same
old results.

What you need to do is to sit down and put all of  your limiting
beliefs about yourself and women in writing.  Then what you need to
do is decide on a better belief to replace each limiting belief
with and work on installing it every day.  You can change your
beliefs, then your results will follow.

The evidence that this is an easy skill to learn is all around you.
All you have to do is make the decision to learn it--after all,
there are millions of men out there dying to meet an attractive
man, and all you have to do is to be just a bit more attractive
than the other guys.

And in this day and age, that ain't hard to do.

On with the fun,

-John Alanis
"The King of Let 'em Come to You"

PS  Be sure to check out my witty saying of the day (it comes with
a picture of a hot woman, and you've got to see today's), one line
of wisdom, sarcasm and entertainment on my new blog at
http://www.elitematelove.com

It's so cool you'll want to pass it around and leave your own witty
saying--see if you can top mine!

PPS Questions?  Comments?  Send them to  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

Oh, and hey, forward this email to your friends, too--don't leave
them out of the fun!

First of all, I would like to sincerely thank Elitemate for existing and most of all every time I go to the site you cut my loneliness in half. It's like you're saying "It's o.k., we know what you're going thru and we're here to help"!
The upgrading of your site is magnificent - the colors, contrast and background are so eye-catching. It's the best site that I have seen up till now.

Keep-up the good work and thank you for bringing people together from around the world!

Daphenie
ARUBA