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Constantly engage in what works...
Hey Guys--
I received a very good email today from a man struggling with
removing the social programming installed by the girlie men in the
media.
It's something many men are faced with, and truthfully it's not
easy to get rid of... but you CAN get rid of it. Read his question,
and my answer below..
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Hello Mr. Alanis,
Please, HELP!! My question for you is how do you remove "social
programming"? I am getting better at approaching, and I am
comfortable with talking to women (which sets them at ease), but
somehow the "socially programmed girlie man" creeps in with "be
nice, that's what she wants", and I know that it is not true - they
don't want that at all!
Well, needless to say, when that happens, my body language and my
words don't match, and it's all but over. I usually end up with
another "friend" that actually isn't what either of us were looking
for...
Any advice or techniques to overcome this would be great!
And, thank you for your time!!
Curt
JA: Thanks for the email, Curt--it brings up an important topic.
What you have to understand is, this social programming has been
there since birth, and in the last several years it is getting
worse. There is a shrillness to the girlie men that has not
previously been there, and they are getting more and more desperate
as time continues to pass and their philosophies are proven utterly
wrong by reality.
It's not going to go away in a day, a week, or a month, but bit by
bit you can undo it by constantly engaging in what works. Think of
it as reprogramming yourself one piece of code at a time. The
better you get, and the more comfortable you are with women, the
old beliefs will slowly start to fade until one day you're
surprised they are no longer there.
Mentally you have to be prepared for social programming to keep
kicking in (it does not go quietly), but you can't let yourself get
down about it. Realize this is a long process with a reward at the
end few men will ever experience. Just keep doing what you are
doing, and over time the social programming will disappear... but it
does take time.
On with the fun,
-John Alanis
"The King of Let 'em Come to You"
PS Be sure to check out my witty saying of the day (it comes with
a picture of a hot woman, and you've got to see today's), one line
of wisdom, sarcasm and entertainment on my new blog at
It's so cool you'll want to pass it around and leave your own witty
saying--see if you can top mine!
PPS Questions? Comments? Send them to
This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
Oh, and hey, forward this email to your friends, too--don't leave
them out of the fun!
First of all, I would like to sincerely thank Elitemate for existing and most of all every time I go to the site you cut my loneliness in half. It's like you're saying "It's o.k., we know what you're going thru and we're here to help"!
The upgrading of your site is magnificent - the colors, contrast and background are so eye-catching. It's the best site that I have seen up till now.
Keep-up the good work and thank you for bringing people together from around the world!
Daphenie
ARUBA
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