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Date: 2007/08/15 10:52 By: vicpub Status: Moderator  
Karma: 2  

Posts: 182
Question for the dating coach, Scot McKay:

I have two guys in my life. My first one is this guy that wants to meet my children. I think it’s too early to do that because if he meets them and they get attached to him and then something happens that we are not together anynore then my children will get hurt. This has happened before that’s why I am being careful in this matter. I had met this other guy and we have been seeing each other on and off and we have sex a few times and I started developing feelings and now it just seems different like he is not all that interested in me anymore. What should I do? I am just really confused because he has told his friend that is friends with one of my firends that he doesn’t feel the same but wants to continue having sex with me. It’s like he is putting up a front,because when i ask him he says he likes me but is it just as friends? If you can give me any kind of advise on this issue i would really appreciate it alot

Quote: “he has told his friend that is friends with one of my firends that he doesn’t feel the same but wants to continue having sex with me”

First of all, I would never make any decisions regarding a relationship on third-hand information. This is a conversation you need to have with him to confirm what you have heard. Until you have done that, anything else I am about to say is irrelevant.

If true, the fact that this I/J doesn’t keep his mouth shut about your sex life goes hand-in-hand with what you’ve heard to form the simple equation that he has no respect for you. If he feels this way about you, it is also not likely to change into something deeper in the future. Regardless of how you fell for him, in his eyes the two of you are “f***buddies”. From the tone of your question, this doesn’t sound like something you are looking for.

As for the other guy, I agree with not meeting the kids until something resembling a relationship is forming. I’ve conveniently made an exception when women have had daughter close in age to mine, but even that i’m starting to rethink. The deeper story for that guy is that you probably aren’t digging him so much anyway if you are still involved with the other guy and actually putting up with his shenanigans. . On top of all else, I/J guy probably realizes you feel more deeply and is still willing to take advantage. Hear me loud and clear on this: You will not change him. The healthiest thing for you to do here is cut all ties. Men DREAM ABOUT women like you who will stick around and love on them when all they really care about (and all they promise) is sex, sex and more sex. And since you clearly have not talked about being exclusive, don’t be surprised if he is out there forming similar “business relationships” with multiple women.

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